Category: Joke Board
A "city-boy" ventured out and bought himself a farm-house. He needed some animals for the farm and inquired at the neighbor's place. The old farmer agreed to sell some animals and the two walked through the yard.
The city-boy pointed and asked, "What kind of animal is that?"
"Well," said the farmer, "that is a cock, which you city folks call a rooster."
"Ok, I'll take one of them," said the city boy. He pointed to another animal, and the farmer told him, "That one is a pullet, or what you call a chicken."
"I'll take it," said the city boy.
"You will also need a hard working animal to help you with the chores, so I'll sell you this ass, or mule."
The city-boy agreed.
"The mule might give you problems being stubborn 'n all and lie down on you," informed the farmer. "If you scratch his belly really good, he'll get up."
As the city-boy is heading home, a beautiful girl is approaching. All of a sudden, the mule lies down and refuses to move. The girl hurries over and asks if she can help.
"Yeah," exclaimed the city-boy, "You can grab my cock & pullet while I reach around and scratch my ass.
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A ventriloquist cowboy took a walk in the country and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it goin'?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Rancher: (Look of extreme shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at rancher)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Rancher: (Look of disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin'?"
Horse: "Cool."
Rancher: (An even wilder look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at rancher)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Rancher: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Rancher: (Gesticulating wildly and hardly able to talk)......"Them sheep ain't nothin' but liars, every darned one of 'em!!!!
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A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He bought a nice, used chicken farm and moved in. As it turned out, his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens."
The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the neighbor dropped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too well. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more." Another two weeks went by and the neighbor stopped by again. The new farmer said, "You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What went wrong?"
The new farmer said, "Well, I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or too close together."
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The first one was definitly the best out of all three.
LOL, they were all good, but I think the second was my favorite.
hahahaha, I love the first 2!
I've actually heard the first one before. I really liked the last one.
Yep. Gotta be the first one.
hahahaha!
They're all funny.
Hahhahaha, loved them all
the first two were the best, I think.
I herad the first one many times before. I think the second has to be my favorite out of all of them. ahhahha
I've heard all3.
Still nice!
liked the first, second was good, third, mehhh, not so much